1 00:00:04,353 --> 00:00:07,353 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 2 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:05,952 Here, darling. 3 00:01:08,496 --> 00:01:10,134 Cleopatra, don't gulp. 4 00:01:10,289 --> 00:01:11,483 Morticia. 5 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,070 - Did you see the paper this morning? - No, dear. 6 00:01:15,252 --> 00:01:17,607 The bottom fell out of the stock market again. 7 00:01:17,796 --> 00:01:19,991 They really ought to fix that rickety old place. 8 00:01:20,173 --> 00:01:22,482 The bottom's always falling out of it. 9 00:01:22,675 --> 00:01:25,269 Oh, it's not the place, it's the stock. 10 00:01:25,469 --> 00:01:28,108 And you know, Gomez could lose millions in a good market 11 00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:31,217 but, boy, I bet he lost his shirt today. 12 00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:35,536 He has plenty of shirts. It's his money I'm worried about. 13 00:01:37,146 --> 00:01:39,501 Come now, Blooker, you've been my broker long enough 14 00:01:39,690 --> 00:01:42,250 to know that a little market crash doesn't scare me. 15 00:01:42,443 --> 00:01:45,321 Why, my Consolidated Funds climbed to 60 yesterday. 16 00:01:45,529 --> 00:01:47,884 Unfortunately I'd sold it the day before. 17 00:01:48,156 --> 00:01:51,114 Blooker, I just feel like buying a railroad. 18 00:01:51,326 --> 00:01:52,839 A little surprise for my wife. 19 00:01:53,578 --> 00:01:56,456 We'd better find Gomez and see if everything is all right. 20 00:01:56,664 --> 00:01:57,813 Thing? 21 00:01:58,624 --> 00:02:01,696 Would you finish feeding Cleopatra, please, Thing? 22 00:02:03,086 --> 00:02:05,759 That's good. Now mind your manners, dear. 23 00:02:07,340 --> 00:02:10,571 Blooker, I know fortunes have been lost speculating on railroads, 24 00:02:10,802 --> 00:02:11,996 but what's a fortune? 25 00:02:12,136 --> 00:02:14,491 But Mr. Addams, the people I'm talking about went broke. 26 00:02:15,389 --> 00:02:16,378 Broke? 27 00:02:16,515 --> 00:02:18,790 They're absolutely penniless. Wiped out. 28 00:02:18,976 --> 00:02:22,491 That's incredible, Blooker, incredible. Broke, you say? 29 00:02:22,729 --> 00:02:26,768 Penniless? Wiped out? Ghastly, absolutely ghastly. 30 00:02:30,111 --> 00:02:32,784 - Uncle Fester, this is shocking. - It's worse than I thought. 31 00:02:32,988 --> 00:02:34,819 Oh, the poor, poor dear. 32 00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:37,663 Poor thing is right. They wiped him out like a greasy skillet. 33 00:02:37,868 --> 00:02:39,859 It's hard to believe, Blooker. 34 00:02:40,036 --> 00:02:43,153 As a token of my sympathy, write them a check for $100,000. 35 00:02:43,373 --> 00:02:45,489 And now get moving on that railroad. 36 00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:48,059 Oh, dear. 37 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:59,024 Oh, thank you, Thing. And thank you, Cleopatra. 38 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:03,335 It's so nice to know you have friends at a time like this. 39 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:06,072 Morticia, what are we gonna do for money? 40 00:03:06,268 --> 00:03:09,499 I'm too proud to beg and too lazy to work. 41 00:03:09,730 --> 00:03:12,369 Never mind, Uncle Fester, I'll think of something. 42 00:03:12,566 --> 00:03:14,716 It's Gomez I'm concerned about. 43 00:03:14,901 --> 00:03:18,576 The poor dear. He must never know that we know. It'd kill him. 44 00:03:19,822 --> 00:03:23,337 If his life insurance is paid up, that could be a solution. 45 00:03:23,576 --> 00:03:25,407 - Uncle Fester. - Hello, Fester! 46 00:03:25,578 --> 00:03:27,614 - There you are, my dear. - Darling. 47 00:03:27,788 --> 00:03:29,904 I'm gonna be busy all day. If you want me for anything, 48 00:03:30,082 --> 00:03:33,074 I'll be in the library on my private line to my broker. 49 00:03:33,293 --> 00:03:36,683 - Pawnbroker? I know a fellow that'II... - No, no. Stockbroker. 50 00:03:36,921 --> 00:03:38,593 Naturally, Uncle Fester. 51 00:03:38,756 --> 00:03:42,112 I'm buying up a little stock. Nothing big. Just a few million here or there. 52 00:03:42,343 --> 00:03:44,379 You know, a little pastime. 53 00:03:46,722 --> 00:03:50,271 Oh, that poor, brave, darling man. 54 00:03:50,517 --> 00:03:54,146 Did you see him? Laughing in the face of disaster. 55 00:03:54,395 --> 00:03:59,344 - It almost made me cry. - Almost? It does make me cry. 56 00:04:00,276 --> 00:04:01,914 Buck up, Uncle Fester. 57 00:04:02,069 --> 00:04:04,867 I'll call the family together. We'll handle this. 58 00:04:05,697 --> 00:04:07,892 Spend another million. Just keep buying. 59 00:04:08,074 --> 00:04:09,746 Now, how much stock do I have so far? 60 00:04:10,785 --> 00:04:13,345 - 100,000 shares so far. - Fine. 61 00:04:13,538 --> 00:04:16,098 Now, how much do I need to control the company? 62 00:04:16,332 --> 00:04:17,447 About 200,000. 63 00:04:17,583 --> 00:04:19,733 But, Mr. Addams, what do you want with a broken-down railroad 64 00:04:19,918 --> 00:04:21,351 like Big Swamp and Southern? 65 00:04:21,503 --> 00:04:22,731 You'll never make any money with it. 66 00:04:22,879 --> 00:04:24,551 Make money? I've got money. 67 00:04:24,714 --> 00:04:27,387 What I'm looking for is excitement, adventure. 68 00:04:27,592 --> 00:04:28,581 Adventure? 69 00:04:28,718 --> 00:04:32,472 Now, frankly, Blooker, I'm getting a bit bored with my model trains. 70 00:04:32,721 --> 00:04:35,713 I'm just itching to get my hands on a real railroad. 71 00:04:35,933 --> 00:04:37,889 Think what a wreck I could have with those babies. 72 00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:39,095 Wreck? 73 00:04:39,227 --> 00:04:41,900 What else? Oh, we'd keep the people off. 74 00:04:42,605 --> 00:04:44,596 All right, now, Blooker. Get moving. 75 00:04:44,774 --> 00:04:47,368 And, oh, Blooker? Keep my name out of this. 76 00:04:47,568 --> 00:04:49,604 I don't want Wall Street to know what I'm doing. 77 00:04:50,154 --> 00:04:54,670 Now, we must think of ways to make money. 78 00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:56,386 I know an easy way. 79 00:04:56,535 --> 00:04:58,366 - Oh? - Print it! 80 00:04:58,536 --> 00:05:01,255 - Uncle Fester, that's illegal. - It is? 81 00:05:01,456 --> 00:05:06,371 - I can get a job as a bunny girl. - No. No, I don't like the hours. 82 00:05:06,669 --> 00:05:10,981 Besides, that atmosphere. You're much too sweet and innocent. 83 00:05:11,256 --> 00:05:14,054 How about a beauty expert? 84 00:05:14,259 --> 00:05:17,729 - Beauty expert? - Yeah, you know, a hairstylist. 85 00:05:17,971 --> 00:05:20,121 That's perfect, Mama. 86 00:05:20,306 --> 00:05:23,059 Now, remember, we must keep this from Gomez. 87 00:05:23,267 --> 00:05:24,825 Just tell him it's a lark. 88 00:05:24,977 --> 00:05:26,729 Wednesday and I are gonna pitch in, too. 89 00:05:26,895 --> 00:05:29,614 We're gonna open a drink stand on the sidewalk. 90 00:05:29,815 --> 00:05:30,850 Marvelous. 91 00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:33,291 What are you gonna do, Mother? 92 00:05:33,485 --> 00:05:37,478 I think I'll give fencing instruction and tango lessons. 93 00:05:38,239 --> 00:05:40,799 I'm gonna start an escort service. Me and Lurch. 94 00:05:40,991 --> 00:05:46,111 You know, hire out for dates, like with rich widows, eh, Lurch? 95 00:05:49,165 --> 00:05:53,477 I'm sure you'll be an instant success. You're both such fascinating types. 96 00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:55,956 Look, Mother! 97 00:05:57,465 --> 00:05:59,342 Thing wants to help, too. 98 00:06:03,595 --> 00:06:06,712 How sweet. Thank you, Thing. 99 00:06:10,101 --> 00:06:14,538 I feel so good being my own boss, I think I'll take the rest of the day off. 100 00:06:29,827 --> 00:06:31,658 Oh, it's almost perfect. 101 00:06:31,829 --> 00:06:35,185 But do you think it could stand a little dash of hemlock juice? 102 00:06:35,416 --> 00:06:38,374 That's it. I knew it needed something. 103 00:06:42,130 --> 00:06:44,405 Oh, what a lovely sign. 104 00:06:44,590 --> 00:06:47,787 We're gonna paste a picture on it, too. 105 00:06:48,010 --> 00:06:50,478 Oh, that's a marvelous attention-getter. 106 00:06:50,679 --> 00:06:53,796 You children are going to be fine little merchants. 107 00:06:58,812 --> 00:07:03,044 - Uncle Fester, what are you doing? - I'm practicing for my escort service. 108 00:07:03,316 --> 00:07:07,355 You see, I figure I'll have all different kinds of women for customers, 109 00:07:07,611 --> 00:07:09,886 so I gotta be all different kinds of men for them. 110 00:07:10,072 --> 00:07:11,949 - Oh? - Well, you know, 111 00:07:12,115 --> 00:07:15,187 if they like Cary Grant, I'll be Cary Grant. 112 00:07:15,410 --> 00:07:18,322 Hello, duck, what are you doing today? 113 00:07:18,538 --> 00:07:22,133 And if they like their Frank Sinatra, why, I'll be Frank Sinatra. 114 00:07:29,089 --> 00:07:32,001 Uncle Fester, I think that's a mistake. 115 00:07:32,217 --> 00:07:33,935 Yeah, I think I better get another song. 116 00:07:34,093 --> 00:07:39,167 No, no. What woman could possibly ask for more than Uncle Fester himself? 117 00:07:42,017 --> 00:07:45,214 Yeah. Well, you got me there. 118 00:07:47,731 --> 00:07:49,881 Well, well, what's going on? 119 00:07:50,066 --> 00:07:51,294 I haven't seen so much activity 120 00:07:51,442 --> 00:07:55,196 since the night I hid the hornets in Aunt Phobia's sleeping bag. 121 00:07:55,446 --> 00:07:57,755 Darling, this is something I'm doing for the children. 122 00:07:57,948 --> 00:08:00,178 I think every child should know the value of money. 123 00:08:00,367 --> 00:08:02,119 By george, you're right. 124 00:08:02,995 --> 00:08:04,667 Attention, children. 125 00:08:05,914 --> 00:08:07,791 Five pennies make a nickel, 126 00:08:07,957 --> 00:08:09,788 two nickels make a dime, 127 00:08:09,959 --> 00:08:12,678 10 dimes make a dollar. You got that? 128 00:08:12,878 --> 00:08:13,913 - Yes, Father. - Yes, Father. 129 00:08:14,046 --> 00:08:16,606 Good. Now you know the value of money. 130 00:08:21,928 --> 00:08:24,442 We're running a little low on cigars. 131 00:08:27,642 --> 00:08:28,757 You rang? 132 00:08:28,893 --> 00:08:32,772 Lurch, you better pick me up another 1,000 cigars. The dollar size. 133 00:08:34,857 --> 00:08:36,529 Thank you. 134 00:08:36,692 --> 00:08:39,809 Well, back to the stock market. Have fun, everyone! 135 00:08:42,572 --> 00:08:44,688 Oh, that sweet, darling man. 136 00:08:44,866 --> 00:08:47,699 He's trying so hard not to let us know. 137 00:08:47,910 --> 00:08:50,663 $1,000 worth of cigars. 138 00:08:50,871 --> 00:08:53,146 I'm not sure we can afford him. 139 00:09:00,588 --> 00:09:04,467 Oh, look, Gladys, this must be one of those gigolo places. 140 00:09:04,717 --> 00:09:09,268 $50 an hour? Oh, they must be absolutely dreamy. 141 00:09:10,222 --> 00:09:11,860 See for yourselves, girls. 142 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:17,517 - What's the matter with them? - Flighty. 143 00:09:22,525 --> 00:09:25,085 - Well, how's business, kids? - Pretty slow, sir. 144 00:09:25,277 --> 00:09:27,791 Gee, with a cute sign like that, you should be doing great. 145 00:09:27,988 --> 00:09:29,501 "Henbane on the rocks." 146 00:09:30,907 --> 00:09:33,705 Boy, those trade names get wackier everyday. 147 00:09:33,910 --> 00:09:36,504 - Let me have a tall one, son. - Yes, sir. 148 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:47,354 Well, always like to help out the small businessman. 149 00:09:47,547 --> 00:09:49,060 - Cheers! - Cheers. 150 00:09:53,928 --> 00:09:56,806 - Would you like some more? - I'd like some help. 151 00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:59,289 I'm gonna tell my lawyer about this. 152 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,839 See? Satisfied customers always tell their friends. 153 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,130 Oh, my... 154 00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:07,104 Why, I've tasted better glue than this. 155 00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:11,960 Maybe we ought to sell glue on the rocks. 156 00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:15,550 I bet Mother's making lots of money, though. 157 00:10:19,951 --> 00:10:21,623 En garde. 158 00:10:21,786 --> 00:10:24,698 And parry, thrust. 159 00:10:24,914 --> 00:10:26,267 Parry, thrust. 160 00:10:26,416 --> 00:10:29,488 How're you doing, Morticia? Are you teaching him anything? 161 00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:31,860 Oh, Mama, I'm so disappointed. 162 00:10:32,046 --> 00:10:34,037 I haven't had a pupil all day long. 163 00:10:34,214 --> 00:10:35,886 Well, I'm pretty disgusted, too. 164 00:10:36,049 --> 00:10:39,439 I went to every beauty shop in town. Nothing. 165 00:10:39,678 --> 00:10:43,466 I'm very surprised. Your talent is so obvious. 166 00:10:43,723 --> 00:10:47,796 Honey, it isn't what you know, it's who you know. 167 00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:49,129 That's true. 168 00:10:49,687 --> 00:10:52,042 Good man, Blooker, keep spending. 169 00:10:58,695 --> 00:11:03,246 My dear family, I'm afraid we didn't make very much today, 170 00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:05,727 but Thing sold a pencil. 171 00:11:08,287 --> 00:11:10,721 Thank you, dear Thing. 172 00:11:14,584 --> 00:11:17,223 Just a nickel? We made a quarter. 173 00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:19,854 Oh, that's wonderful, dear. 174 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:22,242 But the man's going to sue us. 175 00:11:22,424 --> 00:11:24,301 - Oh? - Morticia? 176 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:30,952 I guess I was high man for the day. I made a dollar. 177 00:11:31,182 --> 00:11:36,017 Oh, Uncle Fester, that's wonderful. Your escort service must be catching on. 178 00:11:36,312 --> 00:11:40,749 Well, not exactly. A lady gave it to me when I popped up from behind my sign. 179 00:11:41,025 --> 00:11:43,493 - Said it cured her hiccups. - Oh. 180 00:12:08,675 --> 00:12:11,906 Nothing like a fiery tango right after breakfast to stir up the old hormones. 181 00:12:12,136 --> 00:12:13,967 Yes, it is exhilarating. 182 00:12:15,097 --> 00:12:18,851 - Well, mind if I cut in? - Please do. 183 00:12:22,020 --> 00:12:25,933 This reminds me of the junior prom. My date looked just like Gomez. 184 00:12:27,316 --> 00:12:31,548 - Well, can't dance the day away. - Oh, you got a job? 185 00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:36,177 - Fester, don't be cruel. - Sorry, slip of the tongue. 186 00:12:41,079 --> 00:12:43,877 Darling, you do have some financial plans, don't you? 187 00:12:44,082 --> 00:12:46,277 Nothing important, mind you. Just a little amusement. 188 00:12:47,376 --> 00:12:51,335 Gomez, do you have something to tell me? 189 00:12:51,588 --> 00:12:53,579 After all, I am your wife. 190 00:12:53,757 --> 00:12:56,635 No need to remind me of that, cara mia. 191 00:13:00,054 --> 00:13:03,683 Morticia thought you'd like to talk about money. 192 00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:06,766 Money? Why should I bother her pretty head with a thing like that? 193 00:13:06,977 --> 00:13:08,854 You're not well, Fester. 194 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,749 - Mail's in. - I'll get it, my dear. 195 00:13:16,402 --> 00:13:17,960 Thank you, Thing. 196 00:13:18,237 --> 00:13:21,513 Oh, the circular I sent for from the yacht company. 197 00:13:21,740 --> 00:13:24,618 Thought I'd buy a yacht and take us all on a world cruise. 198 00:13:24,827 --> 00:13:27,899 - A cruise? - At a time like this? 199 00:13:28,121 --> 00:13:30,271 I think we could use a change of scenery. 200 00:13:30,457 --> 00:13:33,176 The Dead Sea, perhaps. Some fun place. 201 00:13:35,419 --> 00:13:37,853 10:00! Market's open. See you later. 202 00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:44,337 That settles it. I'm going to sell everything we own. 203 00:13:44,553 --> 00:13:46,942 I must get money for Gomez. 204 00:13:47,138 --> 00:13:49,254 You mean auction him off, huh? 205 00:13:50,141 --> 00:13:54,657 - Oh, you mean get money to give Gomez? - Yes, dear. 206 00:13:54,937 --> 00:13:56,086 Now, you come upstairs with me 207 00:13:56,230 --> 00:13:59,427 and help me get out the family jewels and treasures. 208 00:14:05,822 --> 00:14:07,255 Are you ready? 209 00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,397 Ready. 210 00:14:23,338 --> 00:14:28,856 Uncle Fester, I do think we ought to have gotten the combination from Gomez. 211 00:14:29,176 --> 00:14:33,567 Oh, it wasn't locked. I just like to keep in practice on my safe-blowing. 212 00:14:34,932 --> 00:14:37,048 You do have a delicate touch. 213 00:14:40,061 --> 00:14:46,091 Oh, dear, I dread to think of selling our family heirlooms and treasures. 214 00:14:51,029 --> 00:14:53,145 Cousin Crimp's glass eye. 215 00:14:54,032 --> 00:14:56,592 Those were the days when men were men. 216 00:14:59,078 --> 00:15:01,638 Uncle Fester, look. 217 00:15:01,831 --> 00:15:03,981 Pugsley's baby spoon. 218 00:15:05,793 --> 00:15:07,624 He always did have a strong bite. 219 00:15:07,795 --> 00:15:09,831 And not a bad bark, either. 220 00:15:13,258 --> 00:15:14,611 What's that? 221 00:15:15,426 --> 00:15:17,815 Oh, I'd forgotten all about that. 222 00:15:18,012 --> 00:15:21,448 It was a gift for my 12th birthday from Grandpa Droop. 223 00:15:21,682 --> 00:15:23,320 Stock certificates. 224 00:15:24,518 --> 00:15:27,316 "100 shares, Big Swamp and Southern Railway." 225 00:15:28,813 --> 00:15:32,123 I read something about that in the paper today. 226 00:15:32,358 --> 00:15:34,713 What did I do with today's paper? 227 00:15:37,071 --> 00:15:39,824 Yeah, sure, there it is. 228 00:15:40,032 --> 00:15:43,547 "Wall Street is intrigued by a mystery financier 229 00:15:43,785 --> 00:15:47,937 "who is buying stock in the Big Swamp and Southern Railway." 230 00:15:48,206 --> 00:15:50,515 Uncle Fester, do you think maybe he'd buy this? 231 00:15:50,708 --> 00:15:53,302 Why don't we call a broker and find out? 232 00:15:57,589 --> 00:16:00,228 What's the name of that outfit that Gomez deals with? 233 00:16:00,425 --> 00:16:04,179 - Blaker, Blacker, Blooker... - Blooker and Company. 234 00:16:04,429 --> 00:16:06,306 Oh, but I don't want to embarrass Gomez 235 00:16:06,472 --> 00:16:09,066 by telling some stranger that we need money. 236 00:16:09,267 --> 00:16:11,542 Well, why don't you give him a phony name? 237 00:16:11,727 --> 00:16:13,763 Phony name. Jones? 238 00:16:14,688 --> 00:16:16,758 What kind of a name is that? 239 00:16:17,566 --> 00:16:20,000 - Smith? - Much better. 240 00:16:23,571 --> 00:16:25,641 What do you mean you can't find any more stock, Blooker? 241 00:16:25,823 --> 00:16:28,291 I need only another 100 shares to control the whole railroad. 242 00:16:28,492 --> 00:16:31,131 Mr. Addams, there isn't a single share for sale. 243 00:16:31,328 --> 00:16:33,125 I've got men looking all over the country. 244 00:16:33,288 --> 00:16:36,246 - Well, have them look in the city, too. - Just a minute. 245 00:16:37,584 --> 00:16:39,620 Hello? Who? 246 00:16:40,712 --> 00:16:41,986 Mrs. Smith? 247 00:16:42,797 --> 00:16:44,071 What? 248 00:16:44,215 --> 00:16:46,888 We certainly are interested in buying your stock. 249 00:16:47,676 --> 00:16:49,314 I can pay you $10,000? 250 00:16:49,970 --> 00:16:52,120 Well, that's awfully nice of you. 251 00:16:52,305 --> 00:16:55,741 - He's offering $10,000. - Then ask for $20,000. 252 00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:01,203 I'd like $20,000. 253 00:17:02,690 --> 00:17:05,409 - He'll pay $20,000. - Good, make it $30,000. 254 00:17:07,903 --> 00:17:10,463 I'm sorry, but... 255 00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:13,010 - $30,000? - Crook! 256 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,258 Hello? 257 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:16,479 Uncle Fester! 258 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:19,308 That always makes them a little more anxious. 259 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:25,431 Mrs. Smith? Mrs. Smith? Oh, no. 260 00:17:28,129 --> 00:17:31,644 - Yes, Blooker. - I found the 100 shares of stock for you. 261 00:17:31,883 --> 00:17:33,475 Good man, I knew you'd do it! 262 00:17:33,634 --> 00:17:36,467 - But I lost it again. - Lost it? 263 00:17:36,679 --> 00:17:40,069 That's mighty careless, Blooker. Put an ad in the lost and found. 264 00:17:47,397 --> 00:17:51,675 - Uncle Fester, I'm worried. - Big business. Better play it cool. 265 00:17:51,943 --> 00:17:56,141 - But hanging up on him. - Yeah, maybe that was a little too cool. 266 00:17:56,405 --> 00:18:01,160 - I think I'd better ask Gomez's advice. - Oh, you can't tell him what we're doing. 267 00:18:01,451 --> 00:18:06,320 Uncle Fester, you're not the only one in this family who can be cool. 268 00:18:09,792 --> 00:18:13,148 But, Blooker, what if she doesn't call you back, what then? 269 00:18:13,379 --> 00:18:15,176 No problem, I'll kill myself. 270 00:18:15,339 --> 00:18:16,977 Good thinking. 271 00:18:17,132 --> 00:18:18,690 Blooker, if you do get that stock for me, 272 00:18:18,842 --> 00:18:22,676 I'll buy you the biggest, thickest, juiciest camel-hump steak in town. 273 00:18:22,929 --> 00:18:24,362 What do you have to say to that? 274 00:18:24,514 --> 00:18:25,833 I'll kill myself. 275 00:18:26,307 --> 00:18:29,105 Got a one-track mind, Blooker. I like that. 276 00:18:33,772 --> 00:18:37,287 Oh, Tish! Even when I speak French, it drives me wild. 277 00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:40,555 Darling, I want to ask your advice. 278 00:18:40,737 --> 00:18:42,887 You know, I'm trying to teach Pugsley a little bit about business. 279 00:18:43,072 --> 00:18:45,381 Oh, a chip off the old block, that lad. 280 00:18:45,574 --> 00:18:47,644 Well, he's decided to sell his flea collection 281 00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:50,135 and a boy at school has offered him 30... 282 00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:51,842 $30 for it. 283 00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:55,592 Well, there's a simple rule, my dear. Never accept the first nine offers. 284 00:18:55,834 --> 00:18:57,984 When they come up with number 10, grab it. 285 00:18:58,169 --> 00:18:59,284 Take the 10th offer. 286 00:18:59,420 --> 00:19:00,694 It's known as Addams' Law. 287 00:19:00,838 --> 00:19:04,717 Or "How to slit your competitor's throat without getting blood on his necktie." 288 00:19:04,967 --> 00:19:06,195 What a colorful phrase. 289 00:19:06,343 --> 00:19:08,220 It isn't for nothing they call me The Plunger. 290 00:19:08,387 --> 00:19:11,424 - The men on Wall Street? - The men in the plumbers' union. 291 00:19:14,809 --> 00:19:18,961 But, Mr. Addams, I've got my secretary calling every Smith in the book. 292 00:19:19,230 --> 00:19:20,549 Just a minute. 293 00:19:20,689 --> 00:19:22,884 Hello? Mrs. Smith. 294 00:19:23,067 --> 00:19:24,466 It's Mrs. Smith, she called back. 295 00:19:24,610 --> 00:19:27,841 Good, don't let her get away. Offer her $50,000. 296 00:19:28,071 --> 00:19:29,186 Right. 297 00:19:33,159 --> 00:19:35,070 Mrs. Smith, I can offer you $50,000. 298 00:19:35,536 --> 00:19:37,288 $50,000? 299 00:19:37,454 --> 00:19:38,967 Buzzardfeed. 300 00:19:39,123 --> 00:19:41,717 I'm sorry, I'm afraid that's only your fourth offer. 301 00:19:41,917 --> 00:19:43,236 Please continue. 302 00:19:43,543 --> 00:19:44,771 She wants more! 303 00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:46,444 Make it $60,000. 304 00:19:47,505 --> 00:19:48,779 How about $60,000? 305 00:19:49,257 --> 00:19:50,576 - Well... - $70,000! 306 00:19:52,260 --> 00:19:53,295 Who is that? 307 00:19:53,427 --> 00:19:56,339 - Well... - I'm another customer, that's who is that. 308 00:19:56,555 --> 00:19:59,194 I wanna buy her stock myself, I'll go $80,000! 309 00:20:00,017 --> 00:20:01,655 She's got another buyer. 310 00:20:02,352 --> 00:20:05,424 Great shades of Hades, run him out! Bid his head off! 311 00:20:07,023 --> 00:20:08,138 How about $100,000? 312 00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:15,550 Isn't that sweet? Thing wants to get in on the bidding, too. 313 00:20:15,822 --> 00:20:17,016 $200,000? 314 00:20:19,492 --> 00:20:24,771 I'm sorry, Mr. Blooker, I have a third bidder at $200,000. 315 00:20:26,123 --> 00:20:30,082 Wait a minute. Now, look, I wanted to bid $300,000. 316 00:20:30,336 --> 00:20:31,769 $350,000! 317 00:20:33,463 --> 00:20:35,454 $400,000, Mr. Blooker. 318 00:20:37,092 --> 00:20:39,003 $500,000? $500,000. 319 00:20:39,177 --> 00:20:43,534 $600,000! Let's see you top that, nimble knuckles! 320 00:20:43,806 --> 00:20:47,162 He can't go any higher. That's all the fingers he's got. 321 00:20:48,435 --> 00:20:49,868 Oh, poor Thing. 322 00:21:00,655 --> 00:21:05,285 Hell, I've gotta have that railroad, Blooker. I just wrecked my last locomotive. 323 00:21:05,576 --> 00:21:07,214 Just a minute, Blooker. 324 00:21:09,287 --> 00:21:10,640 What is it, Thing? 325 00:21:12,415 --> 00:21:14,804 You think I can get the railroad for that? 326 00:21:17,587 --> 00:21:19,339 Thank you, Thing. 327 00:21:19,505 --> 00:21:22,542 I'll make one more offer, Blooker, $1 million. 328 00:21:24,968 --> 00:21:26,162 I'll try. 329 00:21:27,220 --> 00:21:28,539 Mrs. Smith? 330 00:21:29,139 --> 00:21:32,654 Mrs. Smith? This is my last and final offer. 331 00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:34,450 $1 million. 332 00:21:35,436 --> 00:21:36,505 It's his 10th offer. 333 00:21:36,645 --> 00:21:38,442 - How much? - What difference does it make? 334 00:21:38,605 --> 00:21:41,165 Sold, for $1 million. 335 00:21:43,443 --> 00:21:46,196 I can hardly wait to get my hands on that railroad. 336 00:21:48,156 --> 00:21:49,271 Nice going, Blooker. 337 00:21:49,407 --> 00:21:50,442 To show you my appreciation, 338 00:21:50,575 --> 00:21:53,043 I'm gonna send you a couple of freight cars. 339 00:21:54,703 --> 00:21:58,059 Gomez, darling, guess what I made today? 340 00:21:58,290 --> 00:22:01,965 - That fabulous bat broth of yours? - No, $1 million. 341 00:22:02,210 --> 00:22:05,486 Oh. Well, I have some real news for you. I just bought a railroad. 342 00:22:05,713 --> 00:22:08,102 Oh, darling, that's wonderful, but... 343 00:22:09,383 --> 00:22:11,851 - A railroad? - Big Swamp and Southern. 344 00:22:12,052 --> 00:22:15,203 When I blow those tracks, it'll be the wreck of the century. 345 00:22:16,556 --> 00:22:18,308 He bought a railroad. 346 00:22:19,476 --> 00:22:20,909 The Big Swamp... 347 00:22:22,395 --> 00:22:23,669 He bought it. 348 00:22:24,689 --> 00:22:27,487 Addams here. Hello, Blooker. 349 00:22:27,691 --> 00:22:29,204 You heard what? 350 00:22:30,778 --> 00:22:33,815 The Big Swamp and Southern sank into the big swamp? 351 00:22:35,031 --> 00:22:36,589 Clear out of sight, eh? 352 00:22:37,867 --> 00:22:39,664 Thanks for calling me. 353 00:22:40,411 --> 00:22:42,527 Oh, well, easy come, easy go. 354 00:23:14,275 --> 00:23:17,745 Oh, I do hope this shawl isn't too short for Cousin Crimp. 355 00:23:17,987 --> 00:23:19,545 It looks perfect. 356 00:23:19,697 --> 00:23:22,530 - And so does this. - What's that, dear? 357 00:23:22,741 --> 00:23:25,619 I bought your stock, querida, I intend to pay for it. 358 00:23:25,827 --> 00:23:27,624 Oh, nonsense. 359 00:23:27,787 --> 00:23:31,416 Even though you're still wealthy, I refuse to accept it. 360 00:23:31,666 --> 00:23:33,896 It's a matter of honor, querida. 361 00:23:34,627 --> 00:23:38,142 There you are, a check for $1 million. 362 00:23:39,506 --> 00:23:41,622 First National Bank of Siberia? 363 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,031 Nice bunch. Always pay in cold cash. 364 00:23:46,262 --> 00:23:47,661 Are you sure? 365 00:23:48,473 --> 00:23:49,826 Come to think of it, 366 00:23:49,974 --> 00:23:54,968 we Addamses haven't done any business with them since 1917. 367 00:23:55,270 --> 00:23:59,058 Things may have changed since then. Forget that check, I'll write another. 368 00:23:59,983 --> 00:24:02,292 Second National Bank of Peking. 369 00:24:03,319 --> 00:24:06,117 How could I have ever doubted your financial genius? 370 00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,630 Querida, we all make mistakes. 371 00:24:10,868 --> 00:24:13,462 Darling, let's celebrate. 372 00:24:15,664 --> 00:24:17,017 Wine, Thing. 373 00:24:24,505 --> 00:24:26,097 Thank you, Thing. 374 00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:30,389 How convenient. Instant wine. 375 00:24:33,555 --> 00:24:35,034 - Cara. - Darling. 376 00:24:36,034 --> 00:24:46,034 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 377 00:24:46,084 --> 00:24:50,634 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0